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Why I won't be watching Five Nights at Freddy's.

I enjoy horror! I do!

Image credit: Universal Pictures

I do love a good PG-13 horror movie. There's something particularly fun about how the movie makers work their way around the rules to create max spooks with limited gore. It's like seeing a perfectly executed F-bomb in a PG-13 movie. You've got one shot to use it - and they make it work.

And yet, I will not be heading with the masses to watch Five Nights at Freddy's this year, nor will I be pulling it up to watch at home. And the reason is quite simple - Animatronics are terrifying on a good day; I'm not about to watch them in a scary setting.

Yes, I was the child who avoided looking at the animatronics (even if they were singing 'Happy Birthday' to me) at Chuck E. Cheese's. And if Chuck E Cheese's were still around locally, and if I were to go to one for any reason, I'd still avoid them with their huge blinking plastic eyes and stuttered robotic dance moves. They're scary even when they're not trying to be, so it's not at all a surprise to me that a whole horror franchise has been based off the uncanniness of these monstrous singing animals.!

So, while I enjoy being spooked by a ghost or a knife-wielding masked man, I refuse to subject myself to being spooked by a horrific giant animatronic. No matter how much fun young people seem to be having with it. Life is already too scary to willingly add more animatronics into your life.

The Five Nights at Freddy's phenomenon is lasting longer than five nights. Get up to speed, with how to stream the movie, details on the characters and lore, getting to know the FNAF animatronics, how it fits in the canon of the games, talks of sequels, how Chuck E. Cheese is responding, and even a guide to how to play all the FNAF games.

Can't get enough? We have have recommendations for five movies to watch after Five Nights at Freddy's.